Week 31: How Trusting Yourself is Part of Your Wellness
In today’s world, we’re constantly bombarded with advice—from friends, family, social media, even a quick Google search. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by external opinions, to the point where we stop trusting our own inner voice. Recently, in my work with clients, I’ve seen just how powerful it can be to take a step back and reconnect with the most important source of wisdom: yourself. Yet, many of us hesitate, paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision. The anxiety of “what if I mess up?” becomes a roadblock to growth and well-being.
But here’s the truth: trusting yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. That said, this doesn’t mean ignoring others or believing you’re always right. Seeking advice and listening to others has its place. But learning to recognize when you already have the answers inside you is just as crucial for your emotional health.
When Self-Trust Needs to Be Rebuilt
However, it's important to acknowledge that for some, trusting themselves doesn’t always come easy—and for good reason. There are times when past decisions may have led to difficult situations or mistakes. In these moments, trusting yourself can feel risky, especially if past experiences have left you doubting your judgment.
If you’re someone who has struggled with poor decisions in the past, this post isn’t meant to suggest you should blindly follow your instincts. Instead, it’s about recognizing when and where your judgment may need some rebuilding. This process takes time and involves learning from your experiences—both good and bad—so you can develop a stronger sense of trust in yourself moving forward. Sometimes, working with a trusted mentor, therapist, or coach can help you untangle where your gut may have led you astray and how to sharpen it for the future.
Trusting Your Gut (With Balance)
We live in a world that conditions us to rely on outside input to feel validated. We scroll through social media, ask others what they would do, or turn to Google for quick answers. While advice from others or a bit of research can be helpful, relying on it too much disconnects us from our own instincts. However, let’s be clear: trusting yourself is not about shutting others out. There’s great value in listening to the perspectives of trusted friends, mentors, or professionals. It’s not about thinking you’re always right—it’s about recognizing that your instincts, combined with valuable advice, create a more balanced and confident approach to decision-making.
Wellness isn’t just about self-care routines—it’s about embracing the parts of yourself that know what’s best for you, even when outside voices suggest otherwise.
The Fear of Doing “The Wrong Thing”
A common theme I hear in sessions is the fear of doing the wrong thing. This fear drives anxiety. The pressure to be perfect or to avoid mistakes often keeps us stuck, constantly second-guessing ourselves. We seek reassurance from others, hoping it will make us feel more secure in our choices. But ironically, this need for validation often makes things worse. Instead of reducing anxiety, it amplifies it because we lose touch with our own confidence and clarity.
The truth is, no one knows you like you do. It can be scary to step out on your own, but there’s immense power in trusting your gut. Every time you choose to listen to your inner voice, you reinforce your ability to make choices that are true to who you are. And with that, the anxiety starts to ease.
Celebrating Small Wins: A Reminder of Progress
I’ve written about the importance of celebrating small wins before—it’s one of my favorite topics. These wins, no matter how small, serve as important milestones in building self-trust. Every time you trust yourself and things work out, it’s a victory. And even when things don’t go as planned, the simple act of believing in your ability to choose is something to celebrate. Progress doesn’t always look like big, dramatic changes. Sometimes, it’s in those little moments when you say, “I trust myself.”
Practical Strategies to Build Self-Trust
If you often find yourself seeking validation from external sources, here are some strategies to help you shift toward trusting yourself more:
Pause Before Seeking External Input: Whether it's reaching out to friends, scrolling through social media, or Googling answers, pause for a moment. Before turning outward, ask yourself: “What do I think? What feels right to me?” You might be surprised by how often you already know the answer.
Limit the Noise: While it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s opinions, remember that their advice is based on their experiences, not yours. Set boundaries for yourself around how much external input you allow—whether it’s advice from others, social media, or the internet. The more you quiet the noise, the more you’ll hear your own voice.
Start Small: Begin rebuilding self-trust with low-stakes decisions. For example, instead of asking others what you should eat at a restaurant, choose the dish that feels right to you. Whether choosing a movie, book, or music to listen to, resist the temptation to see what’s trending or popular. Instead, pick something that resonates with you personally, even if it’s not widely recommended. These small moments of trusting your gut will accumulate over time, making it easier to rely on your instincts when the stakes are higher.
Celebrate the Small Wins: Each time you make a decision based on your intuition, take a moment to acknowledge it. It doesn’t matter if it’s a small choice or a big one—every time you honor your gut, you strengthen your ability to trust yourself. This practice, again, which I love, is so powerful in helping you realize that you have what it takes to navigate your life.
Finally…
Trusting yourself is a form of self-compassion—it’s an acknowledgment that your experiences, instincts, and insights are valid and worth listening to. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you’re infallible or that others don’t have valuable insights to offer. It’s about finding balance. Yes, others can offer perspective, but ultimately, you are the one living your life, and trusting your gut can lead to peace and clarity that no outside opinion can provide.
That said, if you’ve struggled with trusting yourself due to difficult past experiences, give yourself the space to rebuild that trust slowly. It’s okay to lean on others for guidance while you’re learning to strengthen your own inner voice. Over time, with self-compassion and reflection, you can rebuild your ability to trust your gut in a way that aligns with your wellness and emotional health.
As you move through this week, I encourage you to reflect on where you can trust yourself a little more. When you make decisions, however small, take a moment to recognize your courage in following your gut. It’s in those moments of self-trust that we find our greatest strength—and ultimately, a deeper sense of peace.
