Week 34: Cultivating Calm Amid Holiday Chaos
With Thanksgiving just two days away, many of my recent sessions have centered on holiday stress. Clients have shared challenges like navigating family dynamics, meeting high expectations, juggling an overwhelming to-do list, and even managing feelings of loneliness or grief. For some, this time of year stirs excitement, but for others, it brings pressure and emotional strain.
Thanksgiving, often the kickoff to the holiday season, can amplify stress as we face the countdown to gatherings, meal preparations, and sometimes, difficult conversations. While previous posts have explored guided imagery and the STOP skill as effective coping strategies, this week, I invite you to focus on cultivating calm through reflection, intentional boundaries, and micro-moments of self-care.
1. Acknowledge Holiday Stress
The holidays can bring joy, but they also come with challenges, including:
Family Dynamics: Preparing to navigate conversations that might trigger frustration or discomfort.
Perfectionism: Feeling pressure to host the “perfect” dinner or create magical moments for loved ones.
Time Crunch: Balancing meal prep, travel, work responsibilities, and social obligations.
Emotional Triggers: Highlighting feelings of loss, loneliness, or unresolved family issues.
Recognizing these stressors is the first step toward creating a more intentional holiday experience.
2. Reflection: Reframe Your Holiday Experience
Take a moment to reflect on what you want the holiday season to mean for you this year.
Choose Three Words: Write down three words that describe how you want to feel during Thanksgiving and the holidays (e.g., calm, connected, joyful).
Identify One Priority: Decide what is most important to focus on—whether it’s spending time with loved ones, making space for gratitude, or simply taking care of yourself.
Acknowledge Potential Challenges: Pinpoint what typically stresses you out during Thanksgiving or the holidays so you can prepare proactively.
3. Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for preserving your energy and emotional well-being. Here’s how to set them effectively:
With Family: Use “I” statements to express your needs (e.g., “I need a short break before dinner to recharge.”). Politely decline tasks or conversations that feel overwhelming: “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t take that on this year.”
With Time: Build in buffer time for rest and allow yourself to say “no” to events or commitments that feel like too much.
With Yourself: Let go of perfectionism. A store-bought dish or a simple celebration can hold just as much meaning as an elaborate feast.
4. Micro-Moments of Self-Care
In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, small, intentional actions can help you stay grounded:
Morning Reset: Start each day with a brief ritual, such as stretching, journaling, or savoring your coffee mindfully before tackling your to-do list.
Mini Breaks: Take 1–2 minutes throughout the day to pause, breathe deeply, or step outside for fresh air when stress begins to build.
Evening Gratitude: Before bed, write down one thing you appreciated about the day to focus on the positive.
5. Navigating Stressful Conversations
Holiday gatherings often bring challenging conversations. Here are strategies to help:
Pause and Breathe: If emotions rise, pause and take a few deep breaths before responding.
Redirect the Conversation: Steer discussions toward neutral or positive topics if things become tense.
Excuse Yourself Gracefully: Step away to regroup, whether it’s to refresh your drink or take a quick walk outside.
6. Find Meaning in the Moment
Instead of focusing on perfection, remind yourself of the why behind Thanksgiving—gratitude, connection, and shared experiences. Create or honor simple rituals that reflect these values:
Share gratitude around the table, whether through spoken words or written notes.
Take a moment for personal reflection on what you’re thankful for this year.
Find joy in small details, like a favorite dish, a shared laugh, or a quiet moment.
Finally…
As we head into the holiday season, it’s important to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions, and it’s okay to prioritize your needs. The holidays can be both joyful and challenging—sometimes all at once—and it’s okay to not feel okay. By reflecting on what matters most, setting intentional boundaries, and embracing small moments of self-care, you can create a holiday season that feels more meaningful and manageable.
Take one day at a time, honor what you feel, and trust yourself to find moments of calm and connection amid the noise.
Wishing you a peaceful and fulfilling Thanksgiving.
*A Note on Thanksgiving’s Cultural History*
For some, Thanksgiving can be a difficult and triggering day due to the historical and cultural context tied to its origins. While many focus on gratitude and connection, it’s important to acknowledge that the holiday also brings up pain and remembrance for Native American communities. If this resonates with you, consider ways to honor the day that feel meaningful, whether through reflection, education, or acts of allyship and solidarity.
Let’s hold space for both the complexities and the joys of this season, embracing it in a way that aligns with your values and emotional well-being.
